It's Only Hair

So I had another excision last Thursday. I haven't heard the results yet, but I sure am hoping that she got all of the pre-cancerous cells that were still lurking in the margins. Regardless, I will start chemotherapy next week. My husband and I attended a session of "chemo teaching" today at the cancer center in Brighton. A very kind Nurse Practitioner schooled us on all of the possible side effects of Taxotere and Cytoxan (the two chemo drugs I will be infused with), and Neulasta which I will be given the day after treatment to boost my immunity. I can look forward to fatigue, nausea, mouth sores, diarrhea, hair loss, rash, changes in skin color and darkening of my nails. These are the most common side effects. There are many others that are far worse. Really, how much worse can it get you say? Other cancers in years to come. Fatal infections. Kidney failure. Severe allergic reactions. Death. The only side effect that I was hoping for - weight loss - does not seem to be high on the list of common reactions.

I feel perfectly fine, and it seems insane to me to voluntarily submit to all of these things that are going to make me sicker than I have ever been in my life. I have tried every way I can think of to rearrange the information so that I don't in fact have to put myself through this, but it always comes back to this - I have to give myself every possible chance to prevent the cancer from returning.

Since I have been assured that my hair will fall out, I decided to have some fun with it beforehand. I made an appointment with my hairdresser (a big shout out to Kara Weaver at the Town Shop in Howell!) to cut, color, and frost it in pink. I intend to enjoy it until it begins to fall out, then I will shave it all off. I have amassed quite a collection of hats to tide me over until it grows back.