Surgery

I arrived at the hospital early yesterday morning, feeling only slightly nervous. The first thing I was scheduled for was a needle localization. This is a pre-surgical procedure in which a wire is inserted through a hollow needle into the breast to localize the mass. I was taken to the mammography department, where the procedure was done while I once again had my boobs smashed in the giant vise. A mammography technician operated the machine and a doctor injected a local anesthetic and inserted the wire, which went through a small plastic clip. The wire protruded about two inches from this clip, and a very high tech dixie cup was placed over it and taped to my boob with scotch tape. This was your garden variety flat bottom cup. I thought they could at least have used the pointy ones so I could have that Madonna look going on under my hospital gown. The doctor explained that he was required to sign my boobs for some reason. I urged him to sign McDreamy, but he didn't go for it. He decorated me with his own initials and went on his way.

Next I was taken to nuclear medicine. NOT nuculer, Mr. Bush, nuclear. I was given more local anesthetic and injected with some sort of toxic nuclear stuff. This was done in order for the surgeon to perform a sentinel lymph node biopsy, to determine if the cancer has spread from the original site. I was also injected with some blue dye. The nuclear tracer substance and the blue dye move to the first lymph node (sentinel node). This lymph node is removed and biopsied after surgery. The blue dye also made my skin a sickening shade of blue. When I arrived home and put on my chartreuse green pajama top my face took on a cast similar to the Wicked Witch of the West. I am still peeing blue this morning.

After these procedures I was taken back to pre-op to await the surgery. The surgeon was running late and she had one other surgery before mine, so it was a couple of hours before I was taken in. My husband and I were joined by two old friends who kept me entertained and laughing while we waited. I was starving because I hadn't been able to eat after midnight. If I had known that it was going to be so late in the afternoon when they finally operated I would have taken a sandwich to bed and set my alarm for two a.m. and eaten it! Finally the surgeon came in and reiterated all of the things she was going to do, then she also signed my boobs. She put her name and a heart on them, slightly more artistic than the first guy.

A couple of nurses came in, shot some "I don't care medicine" into my i.v. and wheeled me into the operating room. I remember moving onto the surgical table and starting to look around the room. I was all prepared to tell them all that I watch Grey's Anatomy and I didn't want any of that bullshit going on while I was being operated on. They were to stick to the business at hand. I never got my chance because the next thing I knew I was starting to wake up in the recovery room. My husband was there and I said "Honey, those people hurt me." A nurse shot some good drug into my i.v. and pretty soon I didn't hurt so much. It took me a while to really wake up. I did not feel as bad as I had expected. I started drinking water and the nurse gave me some Lorna Doone cookies. They were the best cookies I have tasted in my entire life. Finally I got dressed and my husband drove me home.

I arrived home to two of my daughters waiting to take care of me, my kitchen counter laden with gifts of food, tea, chocolate and lots of other wonderful things. My sisters in law and neighbors really know how to brighten up a long and frightening day. I called and texted folks who were waiting to hear from me, ate some of the delicious food, watched a little t.v., took some more good drugs and went to bed.

Now I wait to hear the results of the lymph node biopsy.