They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That may be true most of the time, but sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you stunned and bloody in the middle of the road, barely breathing and unable to get to your feet. And then as you lay there you are run over again and again and again. And then just when you think that maybe you can get up and at least move to the shoulder for a little respite the vile forces that are out to break you say "Oh, so you think you are so tough do you? Take this, bitch."
They also say that you do not get more than you can handle. I say bullshit. I say that often you get plenty more than you can handle - more than you can handle alone, anyway. It's only due to the love and support of so many people in my life that I am able to even crawl out from under the covers some mornings. Tomorrow will be one of those mornings.
My daughter had a scan on Friday, coincidentally at the same time I was seeing my surgeon. She has done this every three months since she was first diagnosed with cancer. The tumor in her lung has been stable for almost two years. We saw her doctor today for the results of the scan. The bastard has come out of hiding and is growing again.
What in the world?! I'm one that believes in His plan, BUT, this is just so far beyond understanding...on your behalf I just want to make something different, better. What can I do to place my efforts and deepest wants out there in a way that will benefit you n your family at this time? I know I'm not the only one reading this and having these feelings. Letting you know how much we care for you w/out making the concern an additional burden for you is important. Human nature is so tricky. Decided to commit to being the best mom I can be to my girl...my 7th grade girl, how many memories does that bring back??!! You know I do work at raising the girl but gonna step it up w you n Erin in mind as I do it. What kind of strength can I generate on your behalf? Putting the positives out there and praying for your families health. As I'm typing Jasz is downstairs getting her breakfast(7 a.m.) hooting n chanting to some hideous,rap, crash of a song...Gonna smile n honor her for who she is, transferring the love!!
ReplyDeleteHug that girl for me. I remember us singing "The Letter."
DeleteI read this yesterday and I just could not respond to it. God never gives us more than we can handle??? I agree with your answer. Sometimes we get buried with no where to turn. Sometimes just crawling out of that hole takes all you have. Does it make us stronger? The jury is still out on that one. You both have an army standing behind you and covering you both in prayer and love. Thank you for putting into words what the rest of us are feeling right now.
ReplyDeleteAs you happened to write this on my mom's birthday, naturally my thoughts go to her and how you were there for her when I could not be. I will always treasure that...that's who you are! Two of her many sayings were God does not give a person more than they can handle and that if it didn't kill you it made you stronger. She always thought that He must think she was a very strong person. I know that she must be crying with the angles over this whole mess, as am I! May the love and strength of all your family and friends (those living and passed) help you through the days ahead. Wishing you Christmas Magic and Christmas Miracles. Love, Carol G
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